Tag Archives: mothers

Worth It

The best way to find your self worth is to do something that makes other people happy.

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I am my blog

My life’s motto is the same as my blood type:

be positive.

My fashion statement is the same as my home decor:

relaxed.

My persona is the same as my perspective about the future:

welcoming.

 There are so many good things in every day life. Relax, put your feet up and read.

Welcome to my blog!

Gone but not forgotten

Our daughter has been in Philadelphia for several weeks. I miss her terribly just knowing she’s further away than usual. When I opened the refrigerator this morning, I saw her face. Maple syrup from the restaurant she likes. Dunkers that she  usually buys at Trader Joe’s for her dad. The bottle of Coke I had to buy yesterday because it showcased her name. Tomorrow I’ll buy some cream cheese and have a loaded steak and whiz sub for lunch. Somehow the visuals and city references bring her closer to home. It’s been a Rocky road for me. Ah, yes, that too will shorten the distance. A mom has to do what a mom has to do.

Racing

It’s the middle of the night in New England but I am at the Daytona 500. My menopausal self awakens and discovers my body in our overheated bed. It’s no longer warm from our laps around the track. Instead I am flush red, and there’s a pit crew in my head, taking the blankets on and off as fast as they can. The flurry of activity finally helps me cool down and get back on track to sleep. 

I am dreaming of the finish line although there are hundreds of laps ahead.  I want this race to end, so I can earn the trophy back. 

Fashion Statement

My youngest daughter was never a huge shopper.  When she was an early teenager at the mall, she took forever to pick out an outfit.  It was a point of exhaustion – she circled back to each store three times before a decision was made.  As she got older and had money of her own, what she did spend was minimal and  thoughful.   It became a point of pride for me – she knew the value of a dollar and didn’t create impulsive looks.

Nowadays she seems even more frivolous and thoughtful of her image.  She buys an item and once it’s home, she admits to herself that she doesn’t need it.  Away at college, she orders something on-line from time-to-time.  When she comes home, she wants to return the item.

That’s where I come in. 

She has me do her bidding:

  • I remember one of the first times we made a return at the mall.  I was glad she wanted to spend time with me.
  • The second time, it felt great to be a Mom taking care of her baby girl.
  • The third time, I worried that she was shy or perhaps I was enabling her?

If she was the driver, in another store or sick at home – I was her front man.  I did not mind going to a trendy store counter stating, ‘it is too small’.

After another year of this behavior, I’m smarter.

I’ve also become

leary – skeptical – suspicious

forever 21 side

Although I don’t know why – she has the receipts.  Well, if she doesn’t, she has the tags. The stores have policies and procedures for returns.

Last weekend her grandmother and I picked her up before Easter.  She asked if we could go to the Harley shop to return a shirt before we got on the highway.  She drove us to the city dealership but wanted to stay in the car and visit with Grammie.  She handed me a bag.

It didn’t seem like a manipulation.

She and her Dad had been to the Harley Davidson shop the prior weekend to use her Christmas gift card. I was happy to give my daughter and Grammie some 1×1 time.  I held my own walking into the bike shop.  I felt confident in my jeans and about my transaction.

I was greeted at the door and brought over to ‘the ladies’ at the clothing counter.  I told them I wanted to exchange the small shirt in my bag for a medium.  I didn’t think it was a problem.  It was a Harley shirt – from their dealership.

The one time I didn’t have a receipt or a tag, I was questioned – twice.   The manager was summoned.  I assured her I just wanted to complete an exchange.  She acknowledged me but continued to key the numbers on the inside label.

I started to feel like it was a setup.

The feeling was confirmed when the woman with the tight black T-shirt (well – the one with the manager tag on her full bossom) turned back toward me.  She told me the shirt style I had was only sold eight months ago.  Their return policy was thirty days.

I felt like I deserved thirty days.  I won’t be making any more returns.  I also don’t think I’ll return to that Harley dealership. My daughter didn’t have much to say for herself.  So, I spoke instead – something about exhaustion and not being proud.

Trisha Melville

My oldest daughter’s right of passage occurred in Costa Rica. I thought her transition to adulthood would be on her 21st birthday with us.  Rather, the event was about a month earlier with her boyfriend.

Beaches, hikes, party boats, fine dining, cliff diving  –

and a jet ski.

She’d been on a jet ski in her lifetime, so that wasn’t new to her.

We’d met her boyfriend Ryan several months prior, so he wasn’t new to us.

It was the combination of the two that was noteworthy.

She’d posted pictures on social media throughout the week.

We’d read that she’d seen marine life, including a whale.

We just didn’t know HOW she’d seen the whale.

Whales are the biggest creatures that live on this earth.  My daughter was three miles out when she saw one crest the water.  I’m sure it was an amazing pivotal moment – watching it from a jet ski.

When she talked about it in hindsight, reasoning kicked in. 

I’m glad we could be there for her transition from adolescence to adulthood. 

The Mommy That Never Sleeps

My daughter bought a bus ticket to NYC with her college roommate.  When I joined the conversation she and Dad were having about it, I didn’t learn much. Perhaps I’d joined the discussion too late but like others her age, maybe she just has it all figured out:

  • Are you starting at Port Authority then?  “Chill.”
    • You will be cold.  Do you know what you’re wearing?  No response.
  • Where are you meeting your other friend?  “In Manhattan.”
    • It’s a big island.  Where in Manhattan?  No response.
  • Do you have enough money?  “I don’t know, I didn’t count it.”
    • Keep money in multiple spots.  What bag are you bringing? No response.
  • Where are you going to spend your time? “To the left of the Empire State Building.”
    • The cops won’t be able to find you.  Can you be more specific?  No response.
  • Are you going to Central Park?  “Yes, at the end.”
    • You shouldn’t go at night.  What part of the Park?  No response.
  • Didn’t you want to see the Brooklyn Bridge?  “Yes, we didn’t get to it last year.”
    • That’s a long walk.  Have you Googled the map?  No response.
  • How are you going to get around the city? “The Subway, Mom.”
    • They won’t have a stop that says ‘Brooklyn Bridge’. Do you know the stop?
No response. 

Maybe I need the education.  I guess I just worry too much.  They have each other.  They have their cell phones.  They’re smart girls finishing Spring break in the Big Apple. It’s the ideal college road trip.

So then why can’t I sleep?