In response to my husband’s sense of humor, I started a new tradition in our house. The event occurs every time I find him and the other woman alone in the same room. Before I enter, I don’t tiptoe, clear my throat or announce myself. I just raise my voice to her accommodating ear:
That’s when the real woman enters the room. I walk tall with my shoulders back and my strut oozes confidence. Then I wait for a reaction to my fun and spirited entrance.
The first time Richie stared until the snaring stopped. The second time, Richie just shook his head. The third time he rolled his eyes.
He met his match a long time ago. Take a little of that, Mr Alexa App. Although, I think he is getting tired of my antics. Now he’s talking about something called ‘voice recognition software’. My new tradition may be short-lived.
The last time, and I mean the last time, I went flea marketing with my husband was a nightmare. He wanted coffee and I wanted to look at the toys and dolls. I told him I would take a quick look at the collectibles and be right back.
I suppose I lingered a little too long:
I guess he really did need some java!
Despite being the only two people left in our household, my husband and I still tend to have three and four-way conversations. And nobody is on the phone.
Richie went out to breakfast with his Mom yesterday and when he pulled into the driveway, I let our dog, Otis, know “Daddy’s home!” My husband talked with us for a minute on the deck and then went into the house to get another cushion (it rained the night before, so we bring them in). I heard my husband’s next conversation through the kitchen window screen. He was also confirming to “The Dude” that he was back.
Other days we might acknowledge that we didn’t hear or understand what was said:
“What? I didn’t catch that.”
“I wasn’t talking to you. I was talking to Kapper.”
Are the additional conversations no different than talking to houseplants? Maybe we’ve always talked to the pets but are only now paying attention to one another? Either way, I wonder if this post will get us more conversations with household visitors – or less?
It’s been three weeks and I’m not just accepting my empty nest, I’m taking full and complete advantage of it:
– I’ve adopted my own soak tub and shower
– With so many new choices, I take time to make the perfect perfume selection each morning
– My closet is now threefold; i have fun finding just the right outfit
– It takes the right shoe to make the perfect outfit. I’ve expanded those choices too.
– I buy more of my favorite snacks – because they are still there when I’m hungry
– I select whatever car keys I want in the morning – because they are exactly where I left them
– I took over the remote. No more Kardashians, vampires, Jersey Shore repeats or zombies.
There is a God.
I know where they are, who their friends are and when they have to go to work. I also know college move-in days are just around the corner. I suppose that’s why I continue to call. I use any excuse. Are the girls stopping here with you? Do you need anything at the mall? Do you want me to meet you? Did you eat before you left? Will you be home for dinner? When do you want to go school shopping? I seem to be stalking my own children for face time. I realize my house will be empty in only a few short weeks…