Tag Archives: adam. lambert

Alexa – Part II

My husband enjoys a traditional late breakfast with his mother and brother on Sunday mornings. Before he leaves, he watches an oil painting show upstairs while I putter around with writing or light housekeeping downstairs.

I usually like a quiet house but I decided to reconcile with the other woman.

“Alexa, play Adam Lambert.”

I can’t find music by Adam Lambert in your library but it is available on Amazon music unlimited.

Yeah, I love Adam as much as the first guy but I wasn’t dishing out any cash unless I was at his concert, so I tried again:

“Alexa, play Cher.”

I can’t find music by Cher in your library but it is available on Amazon music unlimited.

“Alexa, play Bette Midler.”

It was like a broken echo Dot. Skipping and repeating…dot, dot, dot

Okay, okay, I got it. The bitch wanted money and a playlist before she’d grace me with any of my favorite tunes.

Making the requests was easy enough though, so I didn’t stop there. I tried to generalize:

“Alexa, play good music.”

I don’t have any good music to play.

Really? Great Marketing you Amazon chickiepoo.

“Alexa, play classical.”

Turns out Alexa didn’t have any Concertos or Royal Parade music, so she honed in on the root word “classic” and started playing classic rock.

…from Richie’s playlist. He and Alexa are quite the pair now. I was trying to listen to something different for a change.

Richie came down the stairs with a chuckle as I gave in and said, “Alexa, play Allman Brothers.”

Richie seemed pleased with my working selection as he headed out the door to meet his family. He thinks it’s funny that he has the app and I’m ready to kick Alexa’s ass.

I listened to the classics that are so well known in this house and started to make myself a nice breakfast. As I cracked the eggs for my French toast, Alexa interrupted with a bulletin.

Reminder: Donna is a dumbass.

Alexa was mean-spirited and enjoyed saying it. Richie, on the other hand, was humorously telling me to catch up with the technological times. I knew he was laughing in his Jeep.

I begrudgingly grinned from ear-to-ear and cracked up with my egg shells. I was charmed to know he still thinks of me so creatively when he’s gone. After all these years he certainly knows how to push my buttons. I soaked my French toast, set the table for one and hit Alexa’s off button. I had some writing to do in my quiet house.

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That’s Entertainment

It’s the last season of American Idol and like a lot of the original viewers, our girls are already over it.  As for myself, I like to at least watch the auditions each year.  It’s inspiring to see what people do for their craft – and humorous to see people realize they don’t have one.

This year, I watched beyond the auditions because two contestants caught my eye – Blake and Porsha.  (My Facebook account illustrates my early interest;  I put them in the Top 10 back in January.) I am also somewhat loyal to the show because they produced my heartthrob, Adam Lambert.  I have followed him since Season 8.

<…as illustrated in the the Adam Artistry section of my blog!>

Given my interest in the current contestants, the show and an alumnus, it wasn’t hard for my circle of family and friends to believe that I won tickets to the American Idol finale.  It was the perfect setup for an April Fool’s joke.  As mentioned in last years  Touche! entry, my foolish lie was believable because it was both convincing and harmless.

My oldest daughter was certain I was headed to Los Angeles – and with two tickets.  She fired off a selfless, as well as needy, text:

“Dad haaaas to go with you BUT if he doesn’t, I want to – I NEEEEEED to go to California!”

I loved that I caught her so off guard in the morning that she fell for it – hook, line and sinker!  I returned the text:

Dad better go…if  not, you and your sister will have to play rock, paper, scissors or something.  Oh but wait – aren’t we paying for you guys to be in college at that time?!”

Her charming, as well as bitter, concluding retort came to my iPhone immediately:

Go by yourself then!”

Her loyalty, and the need to spend time with her mother, was short-lived.  I got that loud and clear.  It didn’t make me sad though;  it made me hysterical with laughter.  She knows what I’ll do for my April Fool’s craft.  The problem is, like American Idol, she’s already over me and my joke.