Category Archives: Nothing and Everything

Random streams of consciousness about life with a twist of my whimsical point of view.

Pug nightmare

Sometimes I write random sentences in my head. Many are orphan thoughts that don’t fit into a larger piece of work:

“I fart so much in the middle of the night, the local bubble factory asked me to work the night shift.”

The process helps me to deflate and fall back to sleep. They are purely hypothetical; I’m a piece of work.



Physical suffering is torture.

Mental suffering is worse.

…continual pauses in life –



– rewind

– live it again

  • Fear
  • Regret
  • Anger
  • Helplessness


There’s no stopping it.

No notice.

No prompt.

The scene unfolds again and again.



Home run.


There’s no control.


The memory stays.

The tape plays and plays.

Can’t shut off.

Can’t throw out.

An unwanted reminder.

For years.


Not just a night –

A lifetime.


Enough then –

Enough now.

You are the cause.

Worse than torture –

And you have no idea.

Don’t hurt me anymore.

Don’t judge.

Don’t rule over me.

Don’t rule over anyone.

spring had sprung

There was a break in the April weather that finally made the day seem like spring in New England, so I wore my colorful new blouse. I remember because my husband and I ran errands everywhere that beautiful morning. He drove and I jumped in and out at the post office, the bank and the local garden center.

As we got to the other side of town, I also pointed out CVS. We had their extra value cash and the store had a couple of good specials. I hustled in, said hello to the two male cashiers and scanned my card for more deals.

Quickly, I gathered my purchases, returned to the counter and asked to be checked out with three separate transactions. Guy 1 looked at Guy 2 like “another one of those Moms”. I figured they must get all kinds of requests and mine was no different. I stayed focused as Guy 2 rang up my first sale item, handed me the receipt and I tore off an additional $2 coupon. I used it to pay for my second transaction of tissues that netted to $0. With my third transaction, I used the $5 off coupon that got me into the store. I could’ve checked out with fewer transactions but I like to see that I can get something for nothing. I didn’t mind the extra moments at the register.

I was proud of myself for saving money. Or maybe I should say ‘full of myself’. I went back to the car, asked Richie to pop the trunk and he said, “You popped. Maybe you can button that blouse before we go buy the groceries?”

As it turns out, the boys also got something for nothing, this Mom was different and I had a couple specials of my own to advertise.

There was a break in the April fashion that made me feel like I sprung a leak, so I threw away my colorful new blouse.