Alicia Keys song, This Girl is on Fire, comes to mind every time I have a hot flash. I feel the need to scream the chorus out loud. The rest of the song mocks me. While she’s just a girl on fire, I’m an old lady drying up from the heat. We’re both living in a world that’s on fire but while she’s hotter than a fantasy, I’m slimier than a night crawler. It’s a catastrophe that reminds me I’m on a flight into old age.
Damn right you better look the other way.
I assure you, it’s not the top of the world. It’s the belly of the underworld, the bottom of the pit and a place you can go mad. Everybody stares as I go by because of the flame in my eye and all the sweat in my hair.
The ending of the song is actually true. I can light up the night and do feel like I’m in a lonely world. While Alicia wrote the song about the birth of her son Egypt, I’m in an Egyptian heat wave.
I’m no longer birthing miracles. I am melting into another phase of life. For now though, screaming the chorus out loud, helps me to remain a girl on the inside.